Monday, July 29, 2019

N@kend With Boys - Part Two

N@ked With Boys - Part Two
Are You Man Enough?

In this episode I'm taking about masculinity, cucks, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. 

Toxicity in Masculinity
In talking with men over the last few days about weather or not toxic masculinity is a thing, I got a lot of answers that surprised me. Most of the men I talked to a) didn't believe it was real and b) had the wrong idea of what toxic masculinity even means. Odd to me that a term created to defend men, seems to be taken by them as a term to condemn them, So let's clear up what we are talking about here...

The men I talked to seem to think this term means that men are toxic people when if fact, the term refers to the rules we impose on boys that eventually manifest into toxic things like aggression. Examples would be like telling boys they can't cry or show emotion, they have to be brave and strong, unable to show any weakness and if they do, they are "being girls", "being a pussy", "having no balls", all terms referring to being feminine rather than masculine. Which is not only harmful because boys are humans and humans have emotions that need release, but also because the idea that femininity is weak, is harmful to girls.

Toxic masculinity is misunderstood the way the term feminist is. Feminism does not mean women are better than men, it means women deserve to be treated equal to men.

I also thought it interesting that men became defensive in a way that was very similar to people around the issue of race. For example, "black lives matter" tends to cause white people to become defensive and say that "all lives matter". The term doesn't mean that white lives don't matter, what they are saying is that yes all lives matter but actions are showing that black lives don't and they are trying to bring attention to this.

"People are toxic" First of all this response is coming from the misunderstanding of the term. Second, men are responsible for the majority of murder, rape, and war. Something is up there. You can not argue this. When I asked about toxic masculinity I got responses defending men and saying it's all people but when I asked why the majority of murder and rape crimes are committed by men, no one could answer me.  

I am not trying to blame men. I'm saying something is wrong with our culture. Men do have higher levels of testosterone a hormone responsible for aggression and I think the ideals we are pushing onto humans with high levels of this hormone, are causing this aggression to manifest in unhealthy and unsafe ways.   

I am not against men. In fact, I disagree with the idea of the "pay gap". The idea that men get paid more than women is bullshit. I am a medical assistant, a typically female career but a male in the same position makes the same wage. The truth is that dangerous jobs pay higher wages and men with a higher level of testosterone are more willing to seek risks. No on is stopping women from being Alaskan crab fishers. Women are choosing not to do those types of jobs. 

The #MeToo movement is also bullshit. Yes powerful men tend to abuse their power. Again, men in positions of power tend to have higher levels of testosterone making them have a higher sex drive and higher level of aggression. So yes these things absolutely happen but for a woman to not say anything for years until other women are speaking out makes them just as guilty and partially responsible for anyone assaulted after them. Take some responsibility.    

Another area where men get the short end of the stick is with Court Ordered Custody and Child Support. As someone who has raised another woman's children because she is a dead beat mom, I can see the frustration men feel here. Just because a woman gives birth, does not make her a mother. Just as biology doesn't make someone a father. There is favor for women in courts when it comes to children that is definitely unfair.  

Penis Size and Masculinity
Lets revisit penis size as it applies to masculinity. A large penis is synonymous with masculinity. Can we just stop and think about how stupid this is? This is so very animalistic. I just picture naked men sitting around the bonfire with their erections grunting and trying to show who is alpha. The male obsession with penis size is something that seriously makes me want to pull my hair out!  

Anal Play and Masculinity
I feel like the idea of any kind of male anal penetration is starting to become more accepted but we aren't quite there yet. The whole issue here is another cultural ideal. To be penetrated makes you "gay" which makes you "feminine" which means you aren't a man. This is another stupid idea. Men's prostates, when stimulated can be very pleasurable. What's the big deal? Exactly, it's not a big deal. I'm hearing more and more about men's fantasies about pegging which I think is a sign we are getting closer to getting rid of the stigma around straight male anal play but I think we still have a long way to go.  

Let's Talk Dick Issues

Erectile Dysfunction
There are only a few things I want to address with this issue because honestly, as a woman I'm annoyed that Viagra exists while there is absolutely nothing addressing low female sexual desire. I know this is because women's desire is more complicated and more mental than physical but still... I can't help but feel like it is't treated as being as important.  The surprising thing I've learned about this is that not being able to get hard can be emotional, or related to being nervous or guilty. Women often take an unresponsive penis personally. I think it's believed that because men get hard when the wind blows, when they can't get hard while looking at your naked body, there most be something wrong with you. I've learned this is almost never the case. There is typically a physical or emotional cause. But boys when this happens and you feel embarrassed, remember she is taking it personally.   

Premature Ejaculation
I understand that this can be embarrassing for guys but please do not just tell a girl she turned you on too much and call it good. I compliment falls short if not followed by an orgasm.
If you have a problem with ejaculating too soon, first please understand that just because you finished first doesn't mean you won and the race is over. Your orgasm is only a happy ending is only happy for you. Until she cums too, your not done.

There is a product I have heard great things about and plan to try out and report back on called Promescent

Edging can also help which I will talk about further below.

I often get questions about weather or not masturbation is wrong or if doing it too often is bad. Masturbation is good for men and women. Do not feel shame about it at all. Are you doing it too much? Well if it's negatively impacting your life, then yes. Are you staying home to masturbate rather than go on a date with a actual human? Are you late for work because you have to rub one out before you leave the house? If no, your fine. As long as it doesn't interfere with other areas of your life, it's fine. However, a problem can come from frequent masturbation done to climax quickly can train your body to do so regardless of weather you are solo or with a partner leading to the above mentioned premature ejaculation. Better practice would be edging, where you work yourself up to the point just before climax, back off, let yourself calm down and then go again. Repeating this can greatly increase your self control.  

Men who either "allow" their female partner to have sex with other men or who enjoy watching their partner have sex with another man, usually a more dominate man. 
I've heard some shit talk of men who enjoy this or the work cuck used as an insult to men meaning they are weak. In studying evolutionary psychology I've learned that there is a good reason for men to be aroused by this kind of thing. It's the same reason that the penis makes such a grand appearance in porn despite the fact that the audience is primarily male. 

Men are psychologically aroused by the sight or idea of another male. They subconsciously desire to compete. It's not less manly, it's a totally natural response, just as jealousy is.  

Follow me on Instagram @theshaunawilliams
Follow me on Twitter @xshaunawilliams
Call in questions to (530) 433-4223

Are you more submissive or dominant?
What is one sexual fantasy you have not yet done?

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