Monday, July 29, 2019

N@kend With Boys - Part Two

N@ked With Boys - Part Two
Are You Man Enough?

In this episode I'm taking about masculinity, cucks, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. 

Toxicity in Masculinity
In talking with men over the last few days about weather or not toxic masculinity is a thing, I got a lot of answers that surprised me. Most of the men I talked to a) didn't believe it was real and b) had the wrong idea of what toxic masculinity even means. Odd to me that a term created to defend men, seems to be taken by them as a term to condemn them, So let's clear up what we are talking about here...

The men I talked to seem to think this term means that men are toxic people when if fact, the term refers to the rules we impose on boys that eventually manifest into toxic things like aggression. Examples would be like telling boys they can't cry or show emotion, they have to be brave and strong, unable to show any weakness and if they do, they are "being girls", "being a pussy", "having no balls", all terms referring to being feminine rather than masculine. Which is not only harmful because boys are humans and humans have emotions that need release, but also because the idea that femininity is weak, is harmful to girls.

Toxic masculinity is misunderstood the way the term feminist is. Feminism does not mean women are better than men, it means women deserve to be treated equal to men.

I also thought it interesting that men became defensive in a way that was very similar to people around the issue of race. For example, "black lives matter" tends to cause white people to become defensive and say that "all lives matter". The term doesn't mean that white lives don't matter, what they are saying is that yes all lives matter but actions are showing that black lives don't and they are trying to bring attention to this.

"People are toxic" First of all this response is coming from the misunderstanding of the term. Second, men are responsible for the majority of murder, rape, and war. Something is up there. You can not argue this. When I asked about toxic masculinity I got responses defending men and saying it's all people but when I asked why the majority of murder and rape crimes are committed by men, no one could answer me.  

I am not trying to blame men. I'm saying something is wrong with our culture. Men do have higher levels of testosterone a hormone responsible for aggression and I think the ideals we are pushing onto humans with high levels of this hormone, are causing this aggression to manifest in unhealthy and unsafe ways.   

I am not against men. In fact, I disagree with the idea of the "pay gap". The idea that men get paid more than women is bullshit. I am a medical assistant, a typically female career but a male in the same position makes the same wage. The truth is that dangerous jobs pay higher wages and men with a higher level of testosterone are more willing to seek risks. No on is stopping women from being Alaskan crab fishers. Women are choosing not to do those types of jobs. 

The #MeToo movement is also bullshit. Yes powerful men tend to abuse their power. Again, men in positions of power tend to have higher levels of testosterone making them have a higher sex drive and higher level of aggression. So yes these things absolutely happen but for a woman to not say anything for years until other women are speaking out makes them just as guilty and partially responsible for anyone assaulted after them. Take some responsibility.    

Another area where men get the short end of the stick is with Court Ordered Custody and Child Support. As someone who has raised another woman's children because she is a dead beat mom, I can see the frustration men feel here. Just because a woman gives birth, does not make her a mother. Just as biology doesn't make someone a father. There is favor for women in courts when it comes to children that is definitely unfair.  

Penis Size and Masculinity
Lets revisit penis size as it applies to masculinity. A large penis is synonymous with masculinity. Can we just stop and think about how stupid this is? This is so very animalistic. I just picture naked men sitting around the bonfire with their erections grunting and trying to show who is alpha. The male obsession with penis size is something that seriously makes me want to pull my hair out!  

Anal Play and Masculinity
I feel like the idea of any kind of male anal penetration is starting to become more accepted but we aren't quite there yet. The whole issue here is another cultural ideal. To be penetrated makes you "gay" which makes you "feminine" which means you aren't a man. This is another stupid idea. Men's prostates, when stimulated can be very pleasurable. What's the big deal? Exactly, it's not a big deal. I'm hearing more and more about men's fantasies about pegging which I think is a sign we are getting closer to getting rid of the stigma around straight male anal play but I think we still have a long way to go.  

Let's Talk Dick Issues

Erectile Dysfunction
There are only a few things I want to address with this issue because honestly, as a woman I'm annoyed that Viagra exists while there is absolutely nothing addressing low female sexual desire. I know this is because women's desire is more complicated and more mental than physical but still... I can't help but feel like it is't treated as being as important.  The surprising thing I've learned about this is that not being able to get hard can be emotional, or related to being nervous or guilty. Women often take an unresponsive penis personally. I think it's believed that because men get hard when the wind blows, when they can't get hard while looking at your naked body, there most be something wrong with you. I've learned this is almost never the case. There is typically a physical or emotional cause. But boys when this happens and you feel embarrassed, remember she is taking it personally.   

Premature Ejaculation
I understand that this can be embarrassing for guys but please do not just tell a girl she turned you on too much and call it good. I compliment falls short if not followed by an orgasm.
If you have a problem with ejaculating too soon, first please understand that just because you finished first doesn't mean you won and the race is over. Your orgasm is only a happy ending is only happy for you. Until she cums too, your not done.

There is a product I have heard great things about and plan to try out and report back on called Promescent

Edging can also help which I will talk about further below.

I often get questions about weather or not masturbation is wrong or if doing it too often is bad. Masturbation is good for men and women. Do not feel shame about it at all. Are you doing it too much? Well if it's negatively impacting your life, then yes. Are you staying home to masturbate rather than go on a date with a actual human? Are you late for work because you have to rub one out before you leave the house? If no, your fine. As long as it doesn't interfere with other areas of your life, it's fine. However, a problem can come from frequent masturbation done to climax quickly can train your body to do so regardless of weather you are solo or with a partner leading to the above mentioned premature ejaculation. Better practice would be edging, where you work yourself up to the point just before climax, back off, let yourself calm down and then go again. Repeating this can greatly increase your self control.  

Men who either "allow" their female partner to have sex with other men or who enjoy watching their partner have sex with another man, usually a more dominate man. 
I've heard some shit talk of men who enjoy this or the work cuck used as an insult to men meaning they are weak. In studying evolutionary psychology I've learned that there is a good reason for men to be aroused by this kind of thing. It's the same reason that the penis makes such a grand appearance in porn despite the fact that the audience is primarily male. 

Men are psychologically aroused by the sight or idea of another male. They subconsciously desire to compete. It's not less manly, it's a totally natural response, just as jealousy is.  

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Call in questions to (530) 433-4223

Are you more submissive or dominant?
What is one sexual fantasy you have not yet done?

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Naked with Boys Pt 1 - What Women Want


This episode will be part one of a mini series on the top topics guys want and need to know.

Part One - What Women Want

Size by far is the number one concern men contact me about and we can't really blame them. We are definitely a culture obsessed with size and equating it with manliness. 

The strangest thing is that men want size to matter. When you give them any other answer besides yes, they will not believe you but if you say yes they respond with "I knew it"!

Look boys, in all honestly, like I've said before, yes it matters but it all depends on the vagina the penis happens to be entertaining. Understand something, and I will include a graphic here so you can get what I'm saying. Most vaginal sensation is felt just inside the vaginal opening, not deep inside. This is anatomy, not my opinion. 
Unfortunately, a lot of women, especially younger women are not taught about their own bodies and how they work. Women as well as men have been brainwashed into believing bigger is better when in actuality, bigger doesn't necessarily feel better.
If you notice, the G-Spot or Clitoral Cluster is half a finger length inside the vaginal canal. The shorter a penis is the more likely it will directly hit the area increasing the chances of an internal orgasm. A longer penis can rub against it but often just passes this area by with very little to no direct contact or pressure.

A smaller penis is also much easier to give comfortable oral for a woman. Less gagging, more room for tongue movement, and swallowing. It's just more fun when you're not in physical discomfort.  

Educate yourself because school wont

Sex education in America is lacking to say the least. If you want to be a good lover, you are going to have to take it upon yourself to be educated on female arousal and anatomy. Many women don't even know how their bodies work so there is no way we can expect men to. I highly suggest two books for men and women.

Lets talk oral. Boys... 

This is necessary. so if you have any reservations be it fear of sub par technique, taste, smell, fatigue, whatever it is that holds you back, get over it. The above mentioned book She Comes First can help with this. And remember going down on you isn't all roses either. Everyone needs to learn whatever it is that can make pleasuring their partner pleasurable for them as well. Find what you do like about it and play on that. 

Lastly when I talk to men about how to pleasure women, I feel like I can't go without saying SLOW DOWN and stop watching so much porn. Porn is fine but you have to see it for what is is, FICTION. Pounding away like a jack hammer does not feel good. We don't like it. Crazy positions are also very unnecessary. Remember that porn is shot to be visually arousing to men. Most positions that allow for good camera angles are not usually the positions that feel good to women. Dogie Style for example, if you reference the photo above you will notice that a woman's most sensitive areas are towards the front of her body. In the Dogie Style position, the penis bypasses this area and hits against the back vaginal wall instead. Usually the most pleasurable positions for women are not positions that allow for a good view of the action. The most pleasurable positions are usually those with close contact with a lot of surface area coming in contact with the partner. Steady controlled rhythm is much better than pounding. Pay attention to a woman when she is in the woman on top position. If you allow her to do what feels good rather than put on a performance for your benefit, you will notice that up and down is less favored than back and forth, 

The most important piece of advice I can give is to ask a woman what she likes, We are all made a little differently and may like slightly different things that can lead to a big difference in overall pleasure and satisfaction. Use your words and never assume something feels good. This is how so many men think a woman is having orgasms when she is not. They assume. Don't assume!

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Here rests the bones of what was once my shows notes that I spent a week outlining and a whole day writing... RIP Hybristophilia Intro...