In Bed With Shauna Episode 8 - The Darknessanchor.fm/inbedwithshauna
"All the love gone bad turned my world to black tattooed all I see all that I am all I'll be".
Black - Pearl Jam 1992
He whom we refer to as The Darkness, ironically enough, introduced me to this song in 1992. I didn't know at the time how that one line would be so true in regards to my relationship with him and sit tightly in my heart for the rest of my life.
When you're a young woman, you're coming into your sexuality and trying to figure out what being a woman means and what part your sexuality will play in your character as a person. If you choose to save yourself for marriage, if you decide to be adventurous and be sexually promiscuous, if you choose to only have sex with one or two steady boyfriends in high school, this decision will shape your sexuality for the future and in turn who you project to the world and what they world thinks of you as not only a woman, but as a person.
There are men out there that will convince you that you need them and then use you not only for their own personal pleasure but as a toy, a game piece to get what they want in life. It's not that you're ignorant and don't see this happening. It's that you've been manipulated to believe that it doesn't matter. You need that person so much that any price is worth paying to keep them close.
Eventually, hopefully, you realize they aren't what you think they are, that they add nothing to you and only take away. Has hard as it is to believe at the time, there are others out there that can give you the feeling of acceptance you crave without mentally destroying you.
Shane Dawson Video mentioned in the beginning of this episode
Limp Bizkit - Re-Arrange
Stand - Outside
Floater - Pet
Apocalyptica - I Don't Care