Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Monogamy = Safe Sex ?

It’s amazing to me the amount of people who don’t get tested for STIs on a regular basis. Even if you’re married you should still be tested as part of your annual or biannual checkup. Recently I was scheduled for such a visit and I couldn’t believe the number of times I was asked why I was requesting a STI screening. Ladies just because you are only sleeping with your husband doesn’t mean he is only sleeping with you or hasn’t had at least one “slip up” along the way. Is your health really worth your denial of reality? I have spent many years working in a walk in clinic and let me tell you, many, MANY times people who test positive for STIs are in committed relationships. Either their partner cheated or they themselves cheated and are in with symptoms. I've been in the room when the doctor asks if the patient is in a relationship with only one sexual partner and the patient always assures us they are. I call that same patient to give them positive lab results. Someone wasn't telling the whole truth.  

I once had a Nurse Practitioner tell me that she didn’t have her daughters vaccinated against HPV, the virus that causes certain types of cervical cancer, because she told them to just not sleep around. I was horrified a health professional would actually think that way. First of all, men do not have symptoms and are carriers. Even if a woman was a virgin on her wedding night, she could still contract the virus from her partner. We have got to stop associating STIs with promiscuity. It only takes one time to contract anything!

Just remember you never really know what people do when no one is watching. Be smart, be safe, and trust no one.

Further Reading:

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Vulva... Who?

Recently I came across a TED Talk by Peggy Orenstein. This talk focused on the lack of education and attention put on female sexual pleasure. Ms. Orenstein points out that in Sex Ed we are shown a photo of the "female reproductive system" which although it does show reproductive organs, isn't exactly complete. 🤔

This is SEX education right? Seems several parts of my body I need to have a good sexual experience are missing from the diagram. And come to think of it, I was in my twenties before I knew my vulva was not my vagina and that everything outside of my vagina actually mattered enough to have its own name. It's like the only part of my sexuality that was worth teaching me about, was the part that men needed to satisfy their own.. How is that ok? 😤

Sex Ed in the U.S. is focused on birth control, STIs and  inappropriately timed male erections that girls aught not to cause by simply wearing form fitting clothes or exposing a bra strap. What is this teaching our kids?

I recently got my teen son's sex ed class itinerary showing parents what will and will not be covered in class. What would NOT be covered included consent, sexual identity, and gender identity. Sexual pleasure wasn't even on the menu. This is not sex education. This is reproductive education.

Why are the hard subjects being left to parents who don't even understand sexual or gender identity. What about emotions and bonding hormones. What about relationship ethics the power sex can have on yourself and a couple?

Sexuality is something that is a huge part of who a person is their whole life and will effect them in many ways, yet we just say don't do it but if you do, take a pill and wear a condom.

Girls, I beg you, please do your own research take out a mirror and look at your vulva. Know your anatomy, what it does and more importnatly know how it feels. It's impossible to tell your partner how to please you if you don't know yourself.

This is a picture of the full anatomy of the clitoris which was just mapped out in 2009. We have yet to receive proper education on the G Spot and female ejaculation. Both of which have been considered myths until very recently. Hell, the female orgasm was attributed to hysteria not too long ago.

Please know that because this world has historically been run by men, female sexuality has been grossly overlooked. Educate yourselves and your daughters about the importance of female pleasure and that it's OK to ask for it. If it took women 1 minute to climax and men 20, I can assure you that what (or who) went down in a typical "hook up" would be VERY different. 😂

Demand your pleasure. You are a woman capable of giving life and providing nutrition for another human all on your own. You deserve to experience all that your body is capable of. Not just what a man thinks is relevant.


Here rests the bones of what was once my shows notes that I spent a week outlining and a whole day writing... RIP Hybristophilia Intro...