There comes a time when you need to prepare yourself for the inevitable emotional torture that lies in wait for you in a relationship. Some may choose not to prepare themselves, and instead decide to live in ignorant bliss until the moment of wretched heartbreak hits. But there are those of us who have learned over time, that there is a way to protect yourself.
Most in a typical “normal” seemingly monogamous relationship will opt to hope for the best and deal with the destruction when the time comes. But those of us with open eyes to the reality of relationships do something different. We slowly and purposefully kill our own heart to protect it.
This can many times be done easily just by asking the questions you don’t want answers to. And when you ask these questions, it is extremally important that you do not react. For example, asking a man you’re dating something that would bother you like maybe who he thought was the best lover he ever had (other than you of course). Something small that would make you feel uncomfortable but you cannot ever show that discomfort,
This is most helpful when you are simply seeing someone. When there have been no promises of sexual exclusivity. These are the most heart safe of relationships but can also be one of the most dangerous if you are not careful. I personally start off assuming as if what I would find to be the worst is already happening and then I confirm it. How many girls did you hook up with on your vacation? If you ask it right and he believes you are not exclusive, he will probably tell you the truth. But you must ask without any negative tone in your voice. Almost with a sexy tone as if you’re coming onto him. Make him think it may even possibly turn you on to know about it.
When he admits to it, when he gives you the answer you did not want to hear you mustn’t flinch. This is what you will build upon. If you do it right, soon he will be describing his sexual exploits to you in detail. This will bother you but it will hurt less each time.
I was once so good at this that I had a man sending me pictures of him with other women. And you know what? He never lied to me, I trusted him, and I always knew where we stood. There were no games and my heart never feel into a space it didn’t belong.
By introducing these small amounts of pain little by little, you build a tolerance and eventually your heart will slowly become harder and harder until it ultimately goes to sleep leaving you protected and immunized against a broken heart.